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Aww Shift

Feb 22, 2021

In today’s episode of the AWW Shift Podcast, our guest is Cindy Miller. She is a professional golfer who played on the LPGA Tour and is married to former PGA Tour Golfer, Allen Miller. She is a Certified Behavior, Motivation, and Emotional Intelligence Professional. She is also a speaker and author and currently plays in the Legends Tour. Her journey to being a professional golfer was filled with ups and downs but nonetheless, Cindy managed to rise from the top and reach her dreams, and today she will share with us what obstacles she faced and what adversities she had to overcome in her journey to success.

[5:16] What do you do on a daily basis?

I give golf lessons at Buffalo, New York. We work in a public driving range. My husband and I are the only married couple in the world that played on the PGA Tour, LPGA Tour, Champions Tour, and Legends tour. We're also certified behavior analysts and motivation people so we do a lot of corporate training with companies who have people that are unmotivated and underperforming and I love unlocking potential.

[6:37] Before Success and Being Driven

I don't know why I'm so driven. I'm a competitive control freak who I grew up in a household where my parents played golf and they would drag me to the country club. The pool was my babysitter and I would go swimming. They would drink at the bar, go home, and fight. I had to call the cops on my father when I was just 10 because I thought he was going to kill my mother so I grew up petrified my whole life.

[7:17] I knew my dad loved me and he would always tell me that I can do anything. And he was an entrepreneur. I was just petrified that he was going to kill my mother because I walked in one time and he had a knife to her throat so I don't know why I'm so driven.

[7:48] My only other option was the golf course and I was actually pretty good at it. My mom took me to an LPGA Tour event when I was 17 years old and I saw Laura ball who was a year older than me and I was awestruck. I thought “that's what I'm going to do and I'm going to beat her” so I came home and I said I want to play on the LPGA Tour.

[9:36] I was running away from my house and running towards a dream.

[9:41] What separates you from others?

I was willing to be humble. I would sit and watch all the superstar scholarship athletes that were supposed to be great and I would go, “What do they do that I don't do? What do they do better that I don't do right now?” I would sit and watch them take golf lessons then I would go hit balls, then I would watch them play in tournaments.

[10:55] I asked for help. So many people are too proud to be okay with sucking. Look in the mirror and say “what do I need to do to get better?”. I qualified to play on that team in the top five and that's where we won our first national championship so I think you have to be willing to be humble and look in the mirror and ask for help.

[11:49] The transition from College to Professional Golfer

I went to the qualifying school and I missed my three. It's not like you're really bad, you're just not good enough so I got in the car and I drove to California by myself to play on the mini-tour to get experience and to learn how to play so I could qualify the next year, which I did.

[13:19] While I was at the University of Miami, I met Alan Miller who played on the PGA Tour for 15 years. He's played in the Masters five times. We just became golf buddies and then we ended up getting married so I went from LPGA Tour player to PGA Tour wifey pool. That was a blessing and I thought if I can't be the star, I'll make him a star.

[14:05] Marriage

Alan becomes an alcoholic who uses booze as a way to hide himself. He ends up quitting the tour and we end up teaching golf at a public driving range of Buffalo starting every year at zero. We've got kids and he tries to commit suicide so I file for divorce and the whole thing's just falling apart.

[15:33] I had filed for divorce and we went to divorce court but I lost the divorce. He had been in mental hospitals twice and he quit drinking but he was so depressed. So he goes away. They don't file the papers in the courthouse and  Alan comes back.

[18:03] Cindy’s it box

How bad does it have to hurt to be willing to move and to do so?

[18:24] You have to be willing to look in the mirror and say “Who am I? What are my strengths? What are my weaknesses?” You need this strength in that weakness and that weakness in the strength. It helps you know who you are and what you want to do.

[18:57] Once you know why you're here, what you want, and who you are, you have to do something about it. You have to plant a seed and start working on it.

[20:01] You need to stop digging it up to see if it's growing. Leave it alone and put it in the light. Water it and nurture it. If you do, there is no telling how good it will end.

[20:37] I don't want to have to teach somebody who doesn't want to learn because I'm not going to make you do something you don't want to do. I want to help people that want to get better and better. If you're going to whine about why you're not better then I'm not your coach.

[22:02] Just being yourself

Everybody's born for a reason. Everybody's got gifts and talents. I've tried to act like I'm real professional, and I trip and fall and spill stuff on me. Just be you or be the best you.

[22:42] How often do you care about other people's thoughts?

I will help anybody who wants to help themselves. I feel as though I have a gift and even if you doubt yourself, come here because I'm going to make sure that you know that you can do this. But you have to get off the nail, look in the mirror, do something about it, and plant a seed.

[23:28] I used to care about what people think and sometimes I do and I shouldn't. But that's not my heart. My heart is to help people. You have to be able to repel the ones that aren't supposed to work with you and attract the ones that are. Anybody that is willing, I'm willing.

[24:21] What promise did God make to the world when He created you?

Here's my girl Cindy. She's gonna love people. She's gonna help them learn to believe in themselves once she learns to believe in herself on what she has done now.”

Key Quotes:

[13:03-13:06] “If you ask somebody for help, most of the time they'll give it to you.”

[17:02-17:08] “I believe you're born for a reason. So it is your potential, your passion, possibly your purpose in life.”

[22:54-22:57] “You got to treat people the way you want to be treated,”

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